IT'S ALL ABOUT HAPPINESS, SMILES AND GRINS

I feel a little today like writing a letter to you Jake because I'm missing you so much. Missing hugging you. Holding your hand. Hearing you laugh. Watching you eat. A person could not stay down when you were around because you had the ability to just make them feel good by being in your presence. But I'm not gonna write you a letter.

However I am going to share a feeling. The feeling is Happiness. That's what you were all about Jake.

Happiness, Gratitude, Joy, Laughing, Grinning, Smiling and Feeling Good!

Oh don't get me wrong. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is no greater hurt, no greater pain or heartache than that of a mother who has lost her child. I don't think I will ever in my lifetime know pain like the pain I feel of losing you. I don't mean "losing" you because you are alive in Heaven and I haven't lost you from my heart, but just from knowing you "died". It is a horrific and unnatural deep down wrenching hurt.

I could write and write, hire novelists, poets and experts to write on the subject and all the elloquence and powerful adjectives could still not express the pain in a momma's heart when one of her children dies. A baby she gave birth to and no matter how old they are or how they died there are not adequate words to express the feeling. So why do it. I could try but what is the use. Nothing will change and telling someone how much my heart hurts will not make it hurt less ................. but I think I have found the answer!

Truly I do. I will instead write about all the wonderful things that made up Jake Wendling!

Jake Wendling was an awesome individual. He was someone everyone would have liked being friends with.

I will let people know how kind you were. The values you had. How you made other people feel good about themselves. How it felt when you smiled at me and said "I Love You, Momma". How generous you were with your time, your efforts. How funny you were. Your wit. Your compassionate nature. Your gentleness. Your strength.

Your passion for the N.O.Saints and for Tony Stewart and Nascar. How proud you were to work for an amazing company.

How much you loved our Lord. The relationship you shared with Jesus.

The fact you had an awesome voice. And you could dance like Michael Jackson.

How tickled you were fishing and hunting with your brother.

How you loved studying scripture with your little sister.

How much you looked up to your big sister.

How you loved your Dad. How much fun you had babysitting your baby nephew Luke who called you "Umpah Jake". The unique relationship you had with your step-dad Mike. How very respectful you were to your step-mom Jill.

About all the many, many friends you had. What a green thumb you had. How you loved a pretty lady. All the ladies. And how much you wanted to be a daddy. How proud you were when you bought your home, your new truck.

Skinning your first deer. Loving your little Bston Terrior Bugsy. How you loved family time. Holidays. How you loved dressing up for church. How much you loved to eat. The kind of music you liked. The fact that you could play the cajun scrub board. And had played with some famous people. How easy going you were. How I probably only heard you raise your voice maybe four times in your forty years!

How proud you were when you got your teeth cleaned and whitened. The way you took pride in the city flower beds and being the Horticulturist for the city. Wow. How much you like wearning cologne and smelling nice. The funny way you could tell a joke.

How you couldn't remember what or when you last ate, but you could quote scripture and the statistics of football heroes or racing stats!

That you were a Sunday School Teacher. That you sang in the church choir. The Director of the Men of the Church.... Wow. How dedicated you were in scouts and that you were an Eagle Scout. How compassionate you were to the handicapable.

Ice cream and Cake.

Crawfish...Wow!

Oh boy Jake, I have barely touched the top of the barrel and there are ten times more things that I know you loved, liked, got a kick out of and stood for. So you see I will NEVER run out of happy things to write about. I'll never run out of lessons you taught us.

Fascinating things, simple things, funny things, serious things. But very very few sad things.

Actually the only really sad thing I can really write about is the second you chose to leave us. And then I would be sobbing while writing, but why do that when I have hundreds of things to write about that make me smile and feel good. You see Jake I think I have a job to let others know you in the chance that someone out there may be blessed or helped in some way by knowing what Jake was all about. And if I write only about your death I can't think of how anyone could actually be helped.

Also I know we're told there is never, never any hint of sadness in Heaven, but just on the very slim chance that you can see me being so sad, I believe you might just be a little sad yourself and I don't want to take that chance, Jake. I want you to look down at your momma and see me trusting Jesus and feeling your sweet spirit around me and know without a doubt that you're having the grandest time of your life and that the sheer joy is incomprehensible to understand and for that reason alone I want you to see me SMILE.

I want to know my sweet boy that Jesus has called you over to stand by his side and that He has his arm around you pointing down here and you are grinning and saying to Him,"WOW".