THE LONLINESS OF A GIVING HEART (by Buddy Wendling)

Jake and I



In 2005 I came home. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that I ran home. I had to leave California and all of the trappings that it represented to me. I came home and with the help of my family I made a new home. I carved an existence out of the wilderness and was at times hungry, cold, hot, and always alone. But I never really was alone. I had my family. I had my parents and sisters, and I had my brother. My Brother was and always had been my best friend. It was such a pleasure to be near him again. We did things like went fishing, hunting, went to football games, and spent Saturdays at my mother’s helping her with projects around her and Mike’s home. I didn’t know it at the time, but those were the best days of my life.

This picture was taken of me with Sonny and Daisy Mae in my front yard there in the woods of Louisiana



In 2007 I met the woman who would later become my wife, and who lived in Alabama. We became serious toward each other and at first she would drive to my home and spend weekends with me. After some time I started driving to Alabama to spend time with her and the three wonderful children that she had sacrificed so much to raise on her own. Going to Alabama was no easy task. I would have to find time from work, rent a car, and then find someone to watch my place and care for my animals. That someone was always Jake, my Brother. Jake had a child like innocence as well as a child like faith. He loved animals and delighted in them almost as much as did I. I always had a garden, a yard full of chickens and turkeys, rabbits, and two dogs that I called my children. Sunny and Daisy May are and have been my children and I have always treated them as such. Allowing Jake to watch them was my way of giving him my greatest responsibility. I trusted him above all others. I would leave him detailed instructions and he would follow them to the letter. My animals were always loved and cared for as if I were there doing the job myself.




Jake would come and stay at my house and I would make sure that the pantry was stocked, for Jake loved to eat almost as much as he loved the Lord! The man had an appetite! These trips to Alabama went on for some time and Jake was always there, ready to sacrifice for me. He asked nothing in return and he gladly accepted each time I would ask him. I truly thought that he enjoyed being out there in the deep country, away from lights and city sounds, rude people, and all of the rest of the urban trappings.



It wasn’t until I returned from Alabama for what would be my last visit before I moved there that my mother told me something that Jake had told her. He told her that he just couldn’t understand how I did it. He said the freezer was indeed full of food but it was all game such as deer, rabbit, chicken, and fish. It all had to be cooked and Jake was more of a “open the can, pour it in the pan, heat it up-eat it up” kind of guy. I never knew that about him. Something else I never knew about him was how lonely he was out there. He told my mother “I just don’t know how Buddy does it, living out there like that. It’s just so lonely.”





I never even suspected that he felt so alone out there. He never let on. He just accepted the task and care took for me as if he were caring for his own home and animals. He just served with his heart, because that was the only way that Jake knew to be. He truly had a Servant’s Heart, in the way that Christ would want for us all to have. He served quietly and with love and devotion. He asked for nothing in return, yet he gave all that he could when he met someone in need. I don’t know if he knew it at the time, but he taught his big brother some things that I likely would never have learned had it not been for him. He taught me about giving. Not money or fancy presents, not coveted things gotten from monetary wealth. He taught me how to give of myself. He taught me that it is truly better to give all that you can, all that you have in order to better another person’s situation in life. He brought me closer to the Lord because of his gentle soul and caring ways. Jake’s greatest gift to me was the wondrous gift that I carry each day and that is the knowledge that someday I will see him again because he taught me what I needed to do to ensure that. I have since done so, and each day I try to be more like him, and to honor my loved ones and serve my Lord. I falter, and I do fail but I never stop trying because I know that like Jake, I am but a mere human. But knowing that I am not perfect and that he now is and why this is the case has made all of the difference. It is through child like faith the words of Jesus Christ and a servant’s heart that we gain our greatest accomplishment, eternity in paradise. I thank you Brother, for showing me the way.

This picture of Jake was made a year or so ago at Mom and Mike's